No Sex vs Bored Sex: The debate rages on

I have been confronted by this theme several times throughout my life and I wish I could say that I have always made the right decision.  I haven’t.  Definitely not, and what’s worse, I never seem to learn my lesson.

I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there.  You’re not especially in to the guy but there’s really not much else going on, so you give him a chance.  Why not, what’s the worst that can happen?  Ummmm ya…  Where do I start?

If you’re in this situation right now, heed my advice; end it!  This will not go well.  If Sex and the City has taught us anything, then we know that there are some pretty hefty urban dating myths out there.  Woman meets man, who’s totally not in her league, he likes her, she’s not that into him, but has nothing else going on and decides to give him a chance.  “Oh, he’s really funny,” she’ll say, or “he’s really smart,” or some other crap like that.  They go out, its not too bad, but she decides she’s not going out with him again.  Then one day will pass.  Two, three, then a couple more and she starts thinking, “well, no one else is calling me.  Maybe it wasn’t all that bad?”

Stop right there.  It was that bad.  You’re just bored.  This is called selling yourself short, also known as, lowering your expectations.  I don’t care if you knew some girl who took a chance on some guy that she wasn’t attracted to and now she’s totally into him and they lived happily ever after.  I am a firm believer that attraction should be instant.  Sure, you can grow to have feelings for someone, and maybe as you get to know a person, they can start to become more attractive, but as soon as I see a guy, I pretty much know right away if I’d sleep with him or not.  Don’t you?

So let’s return to that woman.  Can you relate to her?  If you can, first, let me start by saying that pity is a very dangerous thing, and us girls seem to succumb to its powers quite often.  Secondly, boredom is also deadly, but when the two are combined?  Results are a deadly cocktail with the worst hangover ever.

On a personal note, it’s with these ‘boring’ men that I always end up going further then I orginally intended.  Have you ever started out a date by thinking, “I’m so not making out with this guy,” or “there’s no way I’m having sex with him”  or “it would be hilarious if this guy actually thought he was going to get laid?”  Then five vodka seven’s later, you’re back at his place or even worse, in his car, drunk and topless with your ass pressed against the windshield.  No?  Is that just me?

Moving on…  This situation has bad idea written all over it.  There are a couple possible outcomes.  First scenario: you get a cling-on on your hands.  There’s no such thing as sex with no consequences, so someone is bound to fall in love, or develop feelings for someone else.  And if it’s him, I feel for you.  Yes, I actually do have feelings, I don’t like to be confronted with breaking someone’s heart.  Not fun.

The second possible outcome:  it completely blows up in your face.  I’ve seen it happen.  You throw a guy a bone and the bone comes back and knocks you in the head.  The guy who is so not in your league dumps you.  This can be painful, not only to the heart, but much more importantly, the ego.  It sucks but it happens, but don’t let it get you down.

First of all, it happens to the best of us.  Secondly, you had it coming.  That is what you get for lowering your standards!

Sex with someone just for the sake of having it is bound to be bad.  Usually fast, totally awkward and fully embarssing.  Don’t waste yours or your vagina’s time.  So, in the debate of no sex vs. bored sex. Be smart and choose no sex.  Your pride and your vagina will thank me later.  In the meantime, visit the sex toys section of this site.

The Minute Man

Seriously, it’s the year 2009.  Why are there still minute men out there?  I didn’t know men were still allowed to have sex like that these days.  In the era of strong and sexually confident women, openly talking about sex, a la Sex and the City, and bad ass chicks like Missy Elliot proclaiming that they don’t want no one minute man, I can’t believe men like that still exist.  They should know better.  That song was a smash hit; they got the memo.  So why are they still doing it?  Reason number one:  they’re selfish.

I’ve heard it a million times.  Frustrated women sitting around trying to figure out a solution to this problem.  And it is a problem by the way.  He said he was just really tired from work, or that he hasn’t masterbated in a long time, or that I’m just that good.  Sorry, but I think that’s bullshit.  I’m not saying to cut him off if it happens once in a while, I’m just saying, don’t waste your time thinking of ways to fix him.  It’s his problem, and as far as I’m concerned, he’s not thinking about you.

Girls, please take it from me, don’t take too much of it.  I don’t mean to sound harsh, and I assure you I love men, but you can’t give them that much ground.  You give them an inch and they will definitely take a mile.  Most girls I talk to are forgiving if it’s the first time.  Oh, he’s just nervous, and he likes you too much.  Blah blah blah.  That’s all fine and good but the second, third or fourth time?  How much are you willing to take?  Sadly, girls are willing to take it for quite some time.  Do you think he’d be willing to continue sleeping with you if you busted your wad in 10 seconds every time?  Probably not and he’d definitely be frustrated and I’m sure you’d hear about it.

And the excuses.  Oh my god, the excuses!  What’s the worst one that you’ve heard?  Because I have heard some doozies!  One of the worst ones has got to be, “sorry, but I didn’t know I was going to have one.”  When was the last time that you had sex and didn’t know that you were “going to have one.”?  I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a pretty good idea of when it’s gonna happen.

I wish I could say that this post offered a solution.  But sadly, it doesn’t.  It’s just a rant.  And one that could continue for ages. And it’s conducive to a greater problem.  Girls put up with too much bullshit.  I know you like guys and I know you like sex, but is bad sex really worth it?  Answer; No.